My beautiful wife, Sydney, had a massive stroke 4 years age. I had promised her that I would not send her to a care facility, and as hard as it was, I cared for her at home as a single caregiver. She couldn’t hardly speak, could not go to the bathroom or use a toilet, and was hardly eating. She had two, one month, stays at rehab centers which did her no good. She had given up. She died after two years of care.
When she passed, I had given up as well. My life was a mess, the house was a mess, and I couldn’t leave home because of fear and depression. All I managed to do was, barely eat, a lot of sleep, and watch television. This went on for 2 years and then, I had a conversion reaction. In his work, particularly in “The Varieties of Religious Experience,” James describes conversion as a profound transformation in an individual’s beliefs and emotional state, often leading to a reorientation of their life around new values or a spiritual center.
Key Aspects of Conversion:
- Psychological Shift: Conversion involves a significant change in the individual’s perspective, often described as a sudden or gradual awakening to new beliefs.
- Emotional Elements: Emotional arousal plays a crucial role in the conversion process, influencing the depth and authenticity of the experience.
- Reunification of Self: James discusses conversion as a means of resolving inner conflicts, leading to a more unified self.
How did it happen?
- A few weeks prior to her anniversary, I had replaced an old lumpy mattress with a new one. First time I had done anything for myself in a long time. Slept a little better.
- My psychiatrist prescribed a very small dose of neurontin to help me sleep. This was 2 weeks before the anniversary of Syd’s passing. It helped in 2 ways:
- The first day of taking it, I decided that “medical marijuana” had become my dealer. So I put down the pot and tore up my medical marijuana card. (FL)
- It really helped me get a good night’s sleep
It was the second anniversary of Syd’s passing and I was sad. For the one previous, I was a blubbering old man with no hope. I prayed and meditated all day. I simply asked God for a miracle. The next day I felt a little odd, I felt optimistic about my life! I had not felt that way in a long time, way before Syd passed. I was also motivated to start 2 year old tasks that had backed up. Much like optimism, I had not felt motivated in years. I started and completed multiple tasks that day. I thought “what the heck” and was very grateful.
I got some chill bumps and thought, God answered my prayer! I fully realized that I had regained my spirituality and my belief in God, his son Jesus, and the holy spirit. I cried tears of joy. With everthing that had happened in the weeks prior, and my prayers, I had experienced a conversion reaction.
Praise God
